I have always been quiet, humble
like a little mouse
I spent my time at the farm, scurrying around
scared shy shameful
for what I know not.
But that was all a long time ago.
I have found my voice, buried
the secret shame deep down
in my brain.
I stride through the night
streets, clubs, pubs,
laughing, dancing, drowning
in my secret shame.
There’s no one to turn to
so I turn to myself.
With each step:
Warrior. Goddess. Queen.
But the words do little for my
self-esteem.
I learnt long ago that I’m not the same
as those that don’t know
of my secret shame
that burns through my heart and
destroys my brain.
The tablets keep me sane.