I have always been quiet, humble

like a little mouse

I spent my time at the farm, scurrying around

scared shy shameful

for what I know not.

But that was all a long time ago.

I have found my voice, buried

the secret shame deep down

in my brain.

I stride through the night

streets, clubs, pubs,

laughing, dancing, drowning

in my secret shame.

There’s no one to turn to

so I turn to myself.

With each step:

Warrior. Goddess. Queen.

But the words do little for my

self-esteem.

I learnt long ago that I’m not the same

as those that don’t know

of my secret shame

that burns through my heart and

destroys my brain.

The tablets keep me sane.