I’m not yours

you can’t make it so

try as you might

shoving yourself in night after night

tracing your name in red against my angel skin so white

over and over

it still won’t work right

what you want

what you need

isn’t something you can see

or touch

or feel

or steal

it lingers deep

in a quiet, soulful place

that no violent grasping can erase

you taste it, I know,

with each insistent, relentless kiss

that burns less sweet than it once did

but it eludes you time and again

what makes me gentle

lets me win

I’m not yours

you can’t make it so

you’ll never taste it, hold it, know

what I would have given if freely chose

my love for you

sweet and small

presented grace, acceptance, all

my heart breaks clean and true

you wouldn’t,

couldn’t,

hear me call

your name amid the raucous screams

demanding pain and penance paid

for every wound and warrant laid

I’m not yours

you can’t make it so

tremble no more

let it all go

there is no more

I’m nothing left

an empty, hollow vessel bereft

no longer a prize to possess

just an ashy shadow remains

an echo lost on deaf walls

I’m not here anymore

all goodness gone

I’m not yours

you can’t make it so

struggle no more

sleep, my daddy, sleep

let the angels sing you sweet and low

sleep, my daddy, sleep

please,

let me go.

I’m not yours

you can’t make it so.